Part of my Soul
by Konie
Summary: (READ "Into My Heart"!) Ami's view on things during aforementioned story. Very sad, death, etc.


"Part of my soul"  
By: Koneko  
  
Did you know that the world ended? I don't know about your world, but mine did. A   
while ago… everything seems so pointless now, since the center of my very universe is  
gone… I had thought that the only thing that I was good at was studying, but Usagi-chan  
showed me that I was better than just a living book, I was a person, living and breathing.  
But now, she does neither, and nothing that I could have done would have prevented it.  
Fate, cruel Destiny stole her away. And when she died, being held in Rei-chan's arms,   
a part of my soul died with her.   
I can remember it all so clearly, we were fighting on an asteroid, fighting against  
Mamoru-san's friend, Fiore. It wasn't he directly that killed her, but actually, it was her  
friends that slue her. If we had not gone after Mamoru-san, like Usagi-chan had   
wanted, she would have survived. She had wanted us to stay on Earth, while she   
alone would fight. None of us had any doubts that she could defeat Fiore, but we still   
wanted to be there to protect her. In the end, I guess that is what truly did her in… us,  
the people that cared about her the most, those who would die for her in a second…  
just like I am about to do…  
  
I don't know exactly when I decided to die, or that I wanted to… it was just something  
that came about after Usagi-chan. She had been my sunlight, my reason to be true to  
myself, and not just the nerd that everyone thought I was. And here I am now, poised  
on the edge of the tub, filling it with warm water. Should I die? Do I actually deserve to  
live? Why did I live and Usagi-chan die? She was so vibrant, lovely, friendly to   
everyone. She had introduced herself to me that time Luna jumped on my shoulder, and  
I became an instant best friend. Every person she's ever met has been one of her   
best friends, even her enemies… she never gave up on anyone, and she never gave up  
on herself. Weakling! Why should you be given the right to die, and not suffer what   
the world can give? Why should you take the easy way out, Ami? Why should you and   
not Rei-chan, Mako-chan or Minako-chan? Why should they suffer, while you give up?   
I answer myself, in a little voice out loud…"Because they are strong…"   
What kind of answer is that? You can do so much better! "They can do better without  
me… all I do is use my computer, and freeze things… I'm worthless!" What would   
Usagi say to you, if she heard you say that? "That I'm wrong, and I am loved and   
worthwhile." And? "She's not here to say that. I'll go ahead with my plan."   
I stood, walking towards the kitchen.   
"Mother keeps her graduation plaque in there, above the kitchen sink. Since that   
scalpel attached has never been used, it should be quite sanitary." In the kitchen,  
I raised a wavering hand to the plaque. The point of no return. If I could get the blade,   
I'd have the courage to do this. Slowly, I reached up for it, but the seconds seemed like   
hours. Finally, I pulled my hand back, empty. The scalpel was still on the plaque.   
Perhaps today was a day to live.  
Perhaps it wasn't. Was Usagi-chan alive? Why am I here and she not?  
I decided that I should be with her soon.  
I reached up again, determined to get the scalpel, and this time, I got it. Walking slowly  
back to the bathroom, I passed my bedroom's door. Walking inside, I realized that it'd  
be for the last time… I said goodbye to my mini-computer, and I booted up my letters,  
so that anyone of the Senshi could read them. (I had written letters for the Senshi, in   
case of my death. Now, they'll be able to read them…) I looked at the digital clock on  
my dresser, it read 5:30. Study group. The girls should be into math by now.   
Minako-chan usually needed my help with math. I should be there to help her…   
but she'll be able to get help from Rei-chan.   
"Ami-chan, come in Ami-chan! Please respond!"  
What's that? My communicator?  
"Ami-chan! Please respond!" Rei-chan's voice sounded stressed, afraid.   
"Ami-chan? Are you there Ami-chan?" Now Mako-chan's voice took over.   
I picked up my blue communicator, but I just couldn't open it…  
I sat at my desk, and wrote a letter… to my Dearest friends…the Senshi  
I told them how I loved them, and that I couldn't really be alive…I didn't deserve to be,   
after I couldn't save Usagi-chan…  
I walked to the bathroom, and the tub was almost full. Perfect. I started to take off my   
clothes, folding each article, so as not to be a burden to my mother later. I placed the   
stack onto the toilet seat and the letter onto the edge of the sink. With the scalpel in my   
hand, I slowly stepped into the tub, and sat down. Lying there in the water felt so   
peaceful, I felt the scalpel nearly fall from my hand. Bringing it to my wrist, I drew it up  
my arm. Wincing at the instant pain, I dropped the scalpel into the water, already   
starting to turn pink from my blood.   
"Ami-chan? Ami? Where are you?!?" Rei-chan had yelled, searching for me. She  
knew there was something wrong. I'm sorry, Rei-chan… to be a burden to you…  
"AMI!! WHERE ARE YOU?"  
"Minna, I love you all… and I'm sorry… there was no other way out…" I choked out,  
talking to the people I knew would hear…"I'm sorry I'm so weak…"  
~_~_~_~  
  
"Ami-chan? Are you in here?" I asked, in hysterics. She couldn't have used her   
mother's scalpel, could she? I ran into the kitchen, and I couldn't find the scalpel from  
her mother's graduation plaque. "AMI!! WHERE ARE YOU?" I ran faster, trying to find  
my dear friend, before she did something that we'd all regret.  
I heard some splashing, water hitting the floor.  
"Ami, no…" I managed to whisper, before the realization hit me. Running full-bore into   
the bathroom door, I saw Ami in the bathtub and the water pink from her blood.  
"No…"   
Ami was gone….  



End file.
